A cikin sadarwa tare da mutum, kowane yarinya yana fata daga halin da ya dace da shekarunsa. Mafi wuya shi ne, idan ta hanyar ta zo "dan mama", wanda yake dogara ga mace mai girma a rayuwarta kuma baya son yin wani abu game da shi.
"Mama ta" - wanene wannan?
Haɗin da ke tsakanin mahaifiyar da yaron ya dace da yanayin kanta: idan ya zo ga haske, jaririn ya sami abinci, jin dadi da kula da ita. Mazan ya zama, yawancin ya zama ƙarƙashin rinjayar jinsi na jinsi , wanda ya buƙatar yaron ya zama mai hankali, jaruntaka, mai zaman kansa. Ba kowane iyaye yana da ikon zana layin tsakanin amana da ƙauna gaba ɗaya a lokaci. Ya juya cewa "ɗan mama" yana da tsufa tare da saitin halaye na gaba:
- Abubuwan da suka shafi likita a mahaifiyar . Sauran matan suna fama da bayanansa, ba tare da la'akari da jima'i da hankali ba.
- Sakamakon jinkirta wannan hali . Tabbatar da kasancewarsa a cikin yanayin sadarwa ta yau da kullum da kuma cimma nasarar amincewar juna.
- Ƙin yarda da tsarin aure . "Mudin Mama" yana da shakka cewa yana da daraja canza rayuwar da ta kasance tare da mahaifiyar ƙauna a kan hanyar fita daga yankin ta'aziyya tare da wata yarinya, duk da haka kyakkyawa ta kasance gare shi.
"Dan mama" - ilimin kwakwalwa
Yanayin mutane suna da yanayin tunani, wanda likitocin sunyi nazari sosai. Komai tsawon shekaru ne "dan mama", wanda hotunan tunanin mutum yana kama da alamar phobia don rasa ƙaunatacciyar da ƙin Oedipus . Sigmund Freud ne ya gano wannan karshen, wanda ya yi imani cewa:
- Duk wanda ke fama da wannan cuta kamar Sarki Oedipus, wanda ya kashe mahaifinsa kuma yayi auren mahaifiyarsa Jocasta.
- Yarinyar, kamar yadda ƙaunarsa take girma, fara jin kishin mahaifinsa.
- Lokacin da aka saka abin da aka haifa a cikin jima'i, wani matashi ya fara jin tsoron mahaifinsa zai yi amfani da tashin hankali na jiki a kansa.
"Dan mama" - dalilai
Tabbatar da wahalar da wannan matsala ta tunanin mutum a farkon mataki na sanarwa ba daidai ba ne. Idan mutum yana da akalla wasu kwarewar sadarwa na mata tare da mata, a zuciyarsa yayi tsammani rashin nasararsa. "Ɗan mama" da mahaifiyarta sun san cewa ba kowane yarinya za ta yanke shawara game da dangantaka da irin wannan abokin tarayya ba. Dalilin da yasa yaron ya kasance akan mahaifiyarsa kamar haka:
- rashin sadarwa tare da takwarorinsu ko kuma izgili na bayyanar;
- mummunar yanayi na iyaye wanda ba shi da ra'ayin ra'ayi a cikin gidan;
- yardar da mahaifiyar ta nuna ta yarda da ita, har ma a tushen asali;
- haifar da mahaifiyar rashin fahimta na bukatun ɗanta a kowane bangare na rayuwa.
"Dan mama" - alamu
Yarinyar mata suna sadarwa tare da 'yan saurayi masu kwarin gwiwa suna kawo wahalar halin kirki da sababbin ɗakunan. Macen tsofaffi ya zama, ƙwarewa kuma ita ce mafi sauƙi a gare ta don gane abin da mutane ke kira "dan uwan mama." A cikin hulɗa da jima'i, an ba shi:
- Rashin iya warware matsalolin matsala, har ma da sha'awar tserewa daga gare su.
- Ƙwaƙwalwa da rashin jin daɗi a duk abin da ya shafi tattaunawa game da matsalolin iyali.
- Babbar buƙata ga mahaifiyar, abin godiya ga wanda mutumin ya fito daga kowane labarin ya tattauna game da amincin matar da ta haife shi.
"Dan mama" - wadata da kuma fursunoni
A cikin mutumin da ke da irin halin halin da ake ciki a cikin iyali, yawancin 'yan mata zasu iya samun rikici. Abun tausayi da biyayya ga yanke shawara na iyaye suna jefawa cikin idanu. "Dan mama" a cikin dangantaka tana kama da kuskure ɗaya, amma kuma yana iya samun dabi'a:
- Halin Romantic . Mutanen, waɗanda suka kasance cikin nau'in mace, ba za su iya zama marasa galihu ba ga ƙungiyar ruhaniya ta ruhaniya. Sun fi iya samo mafi kyaun turare ko furanni.
- Ƙaddara . Wannan shine hanya mafi sauki don fahimtar wanene "ɗan mama" shine, yadda za a gane shi a cikin mutum. Ya sauya yarda da ra'ayi, wanda ya tabbata a cikin 'yan mintoci kaɗan.
- Tsarin kulawa . Zai zo wurin ceto, idan ya cancanta.
Rabin na biyu na "mahaifiyar" ya kamata ya kasance a shirye ya fuskanci mummunan sakamakon rayuwar mutumin da ke da mahaifiyarsa. Wadannan sun haɗa da:
- rashin takara;
- da ake bukata don kara hankalin ku;
- fahimtar ra'ayi na uwarsa a matakin gaskiya a karshe;
- alhakin canzawa a kan ƙafar abokin abokin rayuwa;
- tsoron yin yanke shawara.
"Dan mama" - yadda za a magance wannan?
Masanan ilimin kimiyya sunyi imanin cewa waɗannan yara ba su bayyana a cikin iyalan da ke da iyaka ba, inda akwai damar jin dadi. Daga cikin iyaye mata masu iko, mata suna rinjayewa, suna raunana a cikin komai. Idan akwai uba a wannan iyali, to yana taka rawar gani a cikin yanke shawara. "Dan mama" shi ne asalin mutum wanda ya ji kansa yana zama cibiyar duniya tun lokacin yaro kuma ya gane cewa babu wanda zai iya son zuciyarsa kamar yadda mahaifiyarsa ta yi. Daga cikin ka'idodin yarinya wanda ke kan hanyar yin gwagwarmaya da irin wannan mace mai ƙarfi , ya kamata ya hada da:
- daidaituwa lokacin da yake magana da iyalinsa;
- yin la'akari da yin la'akari da kowane mataki tare da saurayi;
- Jinƙai marar iyaka ga tsawon lokacin janyewar mutumin daga uwarsa.
Mace - "Mama ta Dan" - shawara na malami
Mujallu masu ban sha'awa na mata a cikin murya guda suna tabbatar da masu sauraron rashin fatawar yin magana da irin wannan mutumin. Sun tabbata cewa "ɗan mama" na har abada. Masanan ilimin kimiyya ba haka ba ne: suna tunanin cewa za ka iya ajiye lokaci a kan lokaci kuma ka yanke wani nau'in sadarwa tsakanin iyaye da zuriya. Don kayar da mai tasiri, mai bukata:
- Sake bude yaki . Miji ba zai iya nuna ƙauna ga mahaifiyarsa ba. Tawaye da ba'a a cikin jawabinsa, ba zai yi haƙuri ba kuma zai gudu.
- A bayyane yake bayyana iyakokin rayuwar mutum . Idan ba tare da rikici ba, to yana da wuyar a kafa wani layi wanda mahaifi bai kamata ya wuce ba.
- Yi la'akari da kwarewar wasu kuskuren mutane . "Dan mama" bayan da saki ya rigaya ya zaɓa a cikin ita, wannan shine dalilin da ya sa ta bi da mata da fushi da zato.